Today’s cars are stupid where they should be smart and smart where they should be stupid. Enough now. Make a car that’s pretty much stupid and watch it sell – because what automakers give people is so bad, they pay more to have less.
Cars today are like budget smartphones on wheels: crammed with bloatware, unintuitive and slow to use. Automakers have always struggled with user interfaces, but until recently “too many buttons” was the biggest problem we had. How I long for these days!
The proliferation of touchscreens and LCDs has made every car feel like a karaoke booth. Animations show energy recovered while braking, the speedometer changes color as you approach the limit, fan speed and direction can be found in three menus. And aside from not working, these interfaces are actually ugly! The guy who has layouts and animations screams “committee designed and approved by someone who doesn’t have to use it”.
Not to mention the privacy and security concerns. I was skeptical when I first saw a GPS in a car, my mother’s old RX300, about 20 years ago. “Yeah… that’s how they get you,” I thought. And now Teslas with missed payments are driving themselves to impound. Welcome to the future – your car is now a drug!
The final outcry is that these features are being sold as upscale options, not seedy options. Screens are so cheap that you can buy a few million and use them anywhere and for anything, telling shoppers, “enjoy the next generation of mobility!” But in reality it’s a cost-saving measure that reduces part numbers and makes it yours Dashboard team allows to kick the can as many times as they want. You probably know this because high-end models resort to knobs and dials for that “premium feel”.
So here’s what I want: a dumb car. That’s what I think it looks like.
Dare to be stupid
First off: no screens at all. There are several reasons for this, both practical and aesthetic.
Virtually everything these screens do is already done by smartphones. It doesn’t require a heavily outdated, sluggish manufacturer’s Spotify or Apple Music app, your phone already does it perfectly. Navigation is also perfectly handled by the phone. Both, I hardly need to add, also work well with voice commands.
Of course, without GPS or data (or hidden mics or cameras), your vehicle also feels more private. Sure, they can still get your phone, but at the very least, like the old days, they’ll have to mount a GPS pack on your undercarriage if they want to track your movements beyond that.
Photo credit: Bryce Durbin / TechCrunch
For media, an aux input does everything. Doubles as a charging cable, and you can easily swap it out for other and new devices. Add a little smart cable management and your phone can be conveniently mounted in a number of places in the cockpit – not that you should look at it or touch it (use your words). If you want Bluetooth I have a dongle for you. The only thing the car should have is a volume control, maybe a simple three button playback control cluster on the steering wheel.
As for the climate controls on those large mid-level LCDs, a few knobs will suffice. Nobody really thinks these “zone” things work, do they? No car is big enough to have zones in it. A blue and red dial, fan selector, and A/C and recirculation switches do it well.
In the instrument cluster we can have ordinary needle gauges. Speed, fuel, oil, temp, and the usual idiot lights: check engine, low tire pressure, etc.
Aesthetically, the digital versions of it have always bothered me. Drivers are supposed to be focused on the road, but these clusters often have distracting, bright information that’s constantly changing. The difference between 69 and 70 on a gauge is an eighth of an inch, as is the difference between 67 and 68 and 68 and 69. This continuous, predictable variation is intuitive and precise enough for pretty much any riding purpose. On a digital display, the numbers are flashing and big, constantly drawing your attention as they drop from 71 to 69, numbers that look completely different and you can’t really see out of the corner of your eye.
Keep it simple, keep it safe
By eliminating media and navigation, we can do without much of the computing power that is in a modern car, but we don’t want to do without it entirely. In recent years, safety features have been introduced that should be in every new car, smart or dumb. Traction control, blind spot and lane departure warnings, and even automatic emergency braking require and should get some CPU power because they save lives. Rear cameras are one thing people might not want to be without – but you’d be surprised at how informative a simple proximity beeper is.
The engine itself is also far more computerized than it used to be. However, in contrast to the computerization of the cabin, this has many positive effects, such as improved mileage, lower emissions, higher reliability and easier diagnostics for service. The precise level of electronics required for safe, responsive pedaling and steering is likely to be the subject of some debate, but we can leave that to the experts.
I’m tempted to ask about manual window knobs and door locks, but that would put us across the line in affectation (if, in fact, we’re not well past that line already). We are not trying to recreate vintage cars, but to build a modern car that is free of superfluous technology. However, electric seat adjustment is still a luxury even today. Use the lever.
Note that nothing I’ve suggested is specific to gas powered cars; Electric vehicles are just as prone to these wrong decisions as the others. This isn’t about nostalgia, it’s about moving away from a harmful but commonly held design philosophy. (…Okay, it’s a bit about nostalgia, but only a bit.)
Of course, what I’m describing, despite its seeming simplicity, is probably something of a luxury vehicle since it doesn’t aim to minimize costs. Almost every existing line of vehicles is developed with the “latest” technology in mind, and getting rid of this means a major departure from existing molds, assembly work, quality assurance, and so on. And while I think the concept would attract a lot of people, it still wouldn’t sell much. It sure is a niche vehicle and the price would reflect that.
Still, I just want a car that isn’t as pretentious as all the other devices I already own that send me notifications, ring, report bugs, ask for permission, need updates – my god! Aside from the whole flimsy “then” argument, these features just don’t make much sense today, certainly not enough to justify their notoriety or poor quality. Let’s see what it’s like to build a car that focuses on letting the driver drive and accommodating, rather than trying to replace the supercomputers we all carry around in our pockets.
